Tell somebody while they live...

You've probably attended a funeral by now.  If not, you at least know someone who has passed.  I've always wondered why it is that we (mostly), not always think of the kindest things about people who are here no more. 

Ironically, all of these kind words and thoughts may have never been shared or stated to the individual who is now gone.  You never looked them square in the eye and said all of those lovely things.  Why is that?  Is it too hard to open one's heart and say something kind?  What gets in the way?  Is it unresolved anger?  Do we realize once the person's gone that this small/medium/or large violation that was too much while alive has become trivial?  Time wasted holding on to something that prevented the relationship from growing.

I'd love to start a whole new concept.  A new "category" if you will.  We have birthdays, weddings, graduations, and funerals.  These are one day events where something significant occurs.  Yes, the birthday repeats, but rarely is it really celebrated on a larger scale more than a few times through life.  I'd like to propose that we integrate a celebration of life where the person doesn't receive physical gifts, but, the gift of why their existence matters to you.  Like the Christmas classic, "It's a wonderful life", where James Stewart's character discovers how different life was were he not to have been born.  I sense that we all have a footprint, and I don't just mean a carbon footprint.  Some of us may not realize how we have impacted others.  It could be like my 5th grade teacher, Mr Turpa, who was disappointed that I didn't do my homework, and his disappointment was coupled with a genuine expectation that I was better than that.  He took me to a new level.  He probably doesn't remember that day....  I do.  I phoned him and told him.  I remember my dad bringing home my first bike, my sister defending me.  I remember the birth of my kids and the impact to get yet more serious to provide a good life for them.  To have watched them playing sports or singing a solo in church.

When my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer, the Dr. told me, "She could have died in a car accident and you would have wished you could have said some things to her....  go home and say those things."   I did, and continue to as best I can. 

How would you feel today if your child came to you and said, "thank you for being there... thanks for being my mom/dad/my brother, sister, friend, teacher, wife, husband... you have enriched my life by just being you.. or when you did this, etc...  Tell someone today... don't let another day pass.

Judge me Judge you

Judging is part of our nature.  It is a necessary evil, but it doesn't have to be necessarily evil.   

We seem to have two opposite traits that coexist.  On the one hand as applied to driving we think, do NOT cross into my lane as I drive.  Do NOT cut me off, know where you're going when you're on the road.  Drive fast enough to stay out of my way.  Hurry up with the light turns green and don't slow me down.  WAIT for me to turn and slow down as you approach the intersection that I'm trying to make my left turn.  Heck, we can get into an elevator and have someone get on just a floor above us and get off a floor below us and think, "what the heck, you're waisting my time... I got things to do!"  On the other hand, although we may think we're walking perfectly in sync with perfection, we probably aren't. 

Studies show that the thing that makes us most angry and lash out at others harshly permeate within ourselves AND to the degree that we are outraged is the degree of our own blindness to our internal fault.  Actually, I made that up.  I don't know if there are studies or not.  I do think there's an interesting analogy there.  There are some that teach that when we see something that's driving us wacko about someone else, we should probably begin by looking at ourselves first.  Stop and ask yourself, this behavior that I cannot stand in this person, does it actually live IN me??  Am I doing this in a way that's visible to others and invisible to me?  It would seem that it's a worthy question.  Furthermore, if you do find it in yourself and you can fight through the correction of that, it may make you better at confronting the person when you've finally overcome it.

And so, finding a fault in another may be discovering the "treasure" that's in yourself.  There are exceptions I'm sure, but, if you think about it, the one person you have the most control over is yourself.  At the least, it'll make us a better judge, for we all seek mercy for ourselves and justice on others.  Were it to be reversed, it could be frightening.  Maybe a better way to say it would be, let us offer mercy to those that we would normally judge. Perhaps by granting the mercy to those who deserve justice, we'll be in a better place to receive mercy from someone who's judging us.

Are you angry?

I don't know if it's part of aging, or something going on in this day and age that we live, but, I sense a heightened presence of anger.  It's quite possible that it's just me.  As a matter of fact, I know that there are times that I use the phrase, "I'll just drink a quart of blood.." referring to biting my tongue to the point of a huge loss of blood.  I also acknowledge that when you're happy, sad, angry, content, or whatever emotion is ruling, your perception affects the processing of information around you so that it's possible the "glasses" you're wearing will color all things around you, sometimes negatively and sometimes positively.

But, then there's a reality as well.  I might feel really great on some drug induced state and decide that I can fly off of a 10 story building.  Perception is altered as gravity enforces the greater perception, the one I call reality.  There are times where the surrounding environment and mindless activities rule and reign and most aren't even aware.  They look and listen to a rant and think... doesn't bother me, what the heck's wrong with him or her?  And to that point, I think, ya, there are those that constantly complain, like if they were receiving a massage from someone they'd complain that it was too rough or not firm enough.

And so, I begin by offering a balanced discussion of anger experienced can be a byproduct of me having an internal perception issue that is affecting my surrounding environment.  Conversely, there is an acknowledgement of an external reality that is being experienced that affects my perception... O woe is me, which is it and how can I know?

What is anger anyway?  I define it as having an expectation that goes unfulfilled.  This is important for anger management that will be discussed later in the blog.  You may say, I don't agree with that definition, I say, ok, don't get angry.  :)


At this point, I'm going to share some things that are constants of anger that I just struggle shaking. 

1. Labron James - the basketball player for the Miami Heat.  Recently, he scored 61 points in a game and was immediatley spoken of as one of the greatest feats of all time in basketball.  I saw the game.  I saw the next two as well.  The following two games Miami lost.  Labron spoke of being tired.  Oh, he broke his nose, some would say, well, his nose was broken when he scored the 61.  My rant base is simply this... before you etch a place in history as one of the greatest, BE GREAT.  I define that as REPRODUCING greatness.  It is not achieved by one act.  This is not to say that he needs to score 61 points repeatedly.  It is saying, if you're not scoring that night, do something else that is great that allows your team to be positioned to win the game.  The NBA pushes this guy to such a level, I actually feel sorry for him.  I feel sorry because, it's a load that no human can carry.  Finally, in the case of Labron, I wonder how he would have done against the East when the East was competitive with people that would foul you and you would know you've been fouled.
2. Men are a joke - I can't tell you how many times I've seen TV shows or commercials where the guy is portrayed as a moron, ineffective, indecisive, incompetent, and so on.  You think I'm making it up, I challenge you to contrast the fathers in the Brady Bunch, Father knows best, Leave it to Beaver, Bonanza, etc... to the dads of today's sitcoms.  Google the phrase, "dads portrayed as idiots in sitcoms" and you will find that there are over 4 million results.  I apologize for nothing to say, that I as a man am offended by the portrayal that is offered.  I've lived a life of being honored as a father.  I led, fed, protected, nurtured, listened, and more to my children.  And at the risk of sounding paranoid, I must ask this question.  WHY.  Is there anyone in Hollywood that would produce a show without EACH character having gone through a scrutinizing process for development in order to satisfy the audience?  What is to be gained in making the dad/man look like a buffoon?  At this point, I will resist the temptation to answer the question, but, I will give you a hint.  Look at the writers, producers, and directors.  Look at the advertisers.  When you see what's in common, you are heading towards your answer.
3. Service - It seems that wherever I go, and I'll leave the places out of this, it's the same experience over and over.  You ask for your burger cooked a certain way, it isn't done that way.  You ask for your fries to be extra crispy, they come back less than normal crispy.  You go to the post office and the line is out the door and the second postal worker leaves her work station for that scheduled break just as you're finally up for service.  The newspaper says buy three tires get the fourth one free, tags on clothes say 40% off today many times these offers are rouses to get you in the door.  Or hows about you have Internet service through an Internet provider and you see a commercial where they're offering twice the speed you're getting for half the amount you're paying!  You call to get it and they say it's only for new customers.  Man, I just want what I'm paying for!
4. LIES LIES LIES - I'm so sick of commercials that present a deal and unless you're really paying attention, they say what most hear in a way that's misleading.  There's a famous carrier of mobile service that is presenting a flat fee for all phone and texting and a SHARED data plan of 10gig.  They altered that commercial.  When it first came out, they strung the sentence together in a way that unless you were paying attention, it sounded like the data was unlimited as well.  Sometimes, they put that 2 point font of white letters against a light grey background that no one could read unless they were to freeze the frame and sit a foot in front of the TV.  Credit the pharmaceutical companies.  At least they tell you the 10 ways the medicine will kill you or leave you impotent.  They do show this along side positive visual images, but at least they declare it rather than showing that ridiculous 2 point font.  This also reminds me of buying stuff online where they give you the agree option.  HA, agree or don't buy it.  Ok, I get it, but what about when you're trying to get service of some kind to your house that only one company offers?  So, they say, agree or you can choose to not have gas or electricity.
5. Drivers - You fill in this one, I'm sure everyone has a story here.

How do I manage my inner hulk?  What are my options?

First of all, there are differing degrees of anger.  My anger, I would classify as manageable and productive.  The reason I say that is because I don't exhibit destructive responses internally nor externally.  I do respond though.  What I do is respond with where I spend my money.  I don't frequent restaurants that do not take responsibility to provide me with what I payed.  I don't go back to a place that won the first transaction but seem to have no long term relationship game plan.  To them, I say, "you won!" ... this time.  Then, I don't go back.  To the advertisers that lie, I pay attention and ask direct and clear questions before buying.  If they don't want to answer the questions, they don't want my business.

Internally, I must do one of two things.  Either I change my expectation, or I change the environment.  What I mean is, if I'm upset because of something letting me down, I can look at the situation and/or person involved and reason mercy and compassion on them...  Perhaps, they too are victims of something they cannot control and are messengers of a greater problem/issue.  Take a deep breath, put it into perspective.  "Pins and needles, needles and pins, it's a happy man that grins.  Now what am I mad about?"  That phrase is used in a Honeymooner's episode where Jackie Gleason is attempting to manage his anger.  The phrase itself is used repeatedly by his character and appears to be effective UNTIL his rent is raised.  He attempts the mantra in a full blown rage and upon completion of having mouthed the words, his friend Norton replies the answer to the rhetorical question, "They raised your rent!"  But, seeing the comedy of this makes me laugh.  Laughing is good for these things.  Don't take yourself so seriously.  Find the things that matter and focus on those.  Yep, I still can't stand the media attention given to Lebron, I can't stand when my food isn't prepared correctly, and driving.. won't go there, but, I find that escaping with your loved ones in great conversation, and laughing restore my soul.  Maybe it will work for you too.

New guitar, new inspiration

I've been playing on my green guitar, my Paul Reed Smith for the last 6 years.  Recently, I purchased a 2004 Gibson Les Paul.  I have been so impressed with the feel and sound that it's literally sent me into a practice frenzy.

When I initially took on the guitar as a young man, I was inspired by Frank Marino and Mahogony Rush.  I'll never forget the first time I heard him playing Johnny B  Good.  I went to my room and began to do my best at copying what I was hearing.  At the time, I was in the Marine Corps and was playing a horn professionally for the Drum & Bugle Corp at Camp Pendelton.  Because of my classically trained background, I was able to understand things and viola, a guitar enthusiast was born.  I practiced .. without exaggeration, 8 hours a day.  I couldn't get enough of it. 

After I got out, I stayed in California and formed a band named, Truxx.  We played throughout Southern California and some really large venues.  Got signed and picked up by an agent, and then the walls came crumbling down.  Bands and musicians can be difficult and a kind of personal crisis left me to quit at the ripe old age of 27. 

About 6 years ago, Rick Stevens hooks me up with this audition and joined forces with Sabrina to produce a Lewis and Martin connection.  We still haven't decided who's Lewis and who's Martin.  I've learned a few things in these last 6 years.  And, to be honest, it has been challenging at times as well as fulfilling and exciting.  You don't last doing this for that amount of time without having some things learned and applied.

Now, to the point...  Recently, as I mentioned earlier, I purchased a Les Paul.  WOW.  I feel like my muscle memory for my original 69 Gibson SG is in my hands.  I'm so truly inspired that I love practicing like I'm a kid again.  The difference now is all the tools available for learning are amazing.  There's YouTube and dozens of guitar instruction sites.  I won't bore you with the theory and harmony things that I've learned, but, I just had to write a quick little post to say, I'm so excited to be playing at a new level and am striving to be more than I've been.  I don't know how far I can go with getting better, but, I have been and hope to continue so. 

I could only hope that you that read this could know the joy of ... whatever, a hobby, a passion, a venture.  Recently, I was speaking to a friend who told me about his passion for Geocache.  I'd never even heard of it, but, to watch his eyes and body language as he explained it was amazing.  I see people on Facebook posting food shots, baby pictures, animal pictures, and so on.  I'm just so thankful.  Even though this is the great recession we're presently living, I never dreamed as a child that I would have this level of contentment in life.

Sabrina and Gypsybleu New Year, more than a day

Approaching 2014, what changes will occur?

I noticed that my blogs have more reads when I write about the band than any other topic.  Perhaps because the exposure of the blog is on the marinoband.com or sabrinaband.com domain... duh?

And so, let me first cover New Years Eve.  We'll be at the OMNI Mandalay in Las Colinas.  The band has been allotted a set of rooms at a special discount of only $ 99.00.  It's a really good rate for a 4 star hotel.  The ambiance is incredible, and we had an awesome time last year.  We have some totally different things NEVER experienced before with Sabrina and Gypsybleu.  This New Year's Eve will incorporate a full band sound!  We're going to have a brass section join us!  So, You're probably going to hear somewhere between 15 and 20 new tunes!  It's going to be the kind of night that if you desire to dance, you will have plenty of great music to do that, or if you want to kick back and be entertained, you'll have plenty of opportunity for that as well.  Please contact me if you would like to get the discounted room as soon as possible and we do look forward to seeing you there!

As far as 2014, I'm going to try to set my expectations to a reasonable level.  I, personally, am a doer, what I set out to do, I do.  The hard part is when you have others that are part of what you want to do and they have things they're doing that don't coincide with what you're wanting to do, you can't get done what you want to do... whew, that's about as politically correct as I can phrase it.  So, I was thinking that I'd blog about the band more often.  Perhaps some of the inner circle details that no one knows.   Maybe, I'll vent out my frustrations?  Maybe not, probably shouldn't.  I mean, to credit Robert Hansen, our former third original member partner in this venture, he came up with the idea that we should film ourselves and create/produce a reality show.  BRILLIANT Bobby!  I loved, love, and shall always love that idea.  Although, I honestly thought that the band could not survive if we did that.  See, we musicians are something else.  A stage is an area where you can get up there with someone you wouldn't normally spend more than 5 minutes, but, in a performance, you collaborate, blend, and make something beautiful together.  To say it nicely, it reminds me of the "I Love Lucy" show where Ricky and Lucy begin to pick at each other for various personal habits they had.  Yeah, this band's been together for several years now and I'm sure that even I MAY have SOMETHING that could POSSIBLY irritate another member in the band. 

Normally, in those reality shows, there's a video blogging/logging that takes place where you really chew on the other.  I don't know ... really, I think that if you were to stick a camera in my face after an evening, I could end up saying something I'd regret... perhaps that's the entertainment factor, for others to watch the dissection.  And, through the years, some of the members of the band have begun to move on to other musical ventures, and some of our invited musicians have moved on as well.  I do know that when all is said, I'd rather be on the stage with Sabrina than any one else.  I'm really reflecting when I say that.  I mean, being honest, I'm fairly sure that there are times in any going concern that you evaluate and have feelings that you have to acknowledge.  I've toyed with the thought of starting another venture and so on, but, I say this purely in a platonic way, she and I produce music on a stage and when we're on, I think it's compelling. 

We really want to freshen things up in 2014.  I believe that band relations are in a good place and we're in a pretty good place right now.  I do anticipate a fresh and vibrant 2014.  If you haven't been out, come on out and see.  We are adding new tunes, and I believe that our interpersonal relationship stuff has hit that level that kicks in when you've known someone about 7 years...  You really make a decision to stay, lots move on.  To say it another way, personnel are in place, it's about evaluating our processes that are presently going on.

So, hope to see y'all at our gigs.  We're in a good relationship with several clubs throughout the metroplex.  Many ask me, "How do you get in that club?"  or "How to you get the bookings", to which I reply, it's not getting in that's hard, it's STAYING in that's complex.  I promise you that we're working on being better and we look forward to expressing our God given talents to you and we do not take any audience lightly, we greatly value you and look forward to serving you with the best music product possible.

Veterans Day

This coming Saturday, I'll be hosting KVCE radio www.kvceradio.com  at 11:00 CST.  The theme of the show is Veterans day.  I could plagiarize and provide information in small chunks as if I had this knowledge, but, I found a great article at this link that tells the history of Veterans day.  Please take a look at this:  http://www.va.gov/opa/vetsday/vetdayhistory.asp 

I served in the Marine Corps two different times and my son is presently in the Marines.  Although there was no officially declared war while I was in, I was there and prepared to serve.  If you have someone special, or a special story you'd like to shared, PLEASE do.  Show your thanks and pride to the person, and/or the memory of that special person.

I will be hosting the show, please tune in.  I'd like to form some thoughts and things to say in honor of YOUR memories and thankfulness of having served yourself or having some served that you know and care about.

I'll never forget when my wife was pregnant with our third child.  It had been about 6 years since our middle child was born.  Memories and experiences of an infant arriving were a past memory.  I also remember going to the mall and seeing other pregnant women.  I saw strollers and maternity clothing shops and other products and services that I had paid absolutely no attention having that as a distant memory.  I then realized that I was so far removed from the experience of an infant that I had no awareness prior to the pregnancy and now a full blown awareness of all things related.  It's like one of those special effects where all things are shaded in black and white and there's a bright color to highlight something that sticks out.

I want to say that there have been, are, and always will be special folks that lay their lives on the line.  I personally owe to take a moment and think about the men who in the youth of their lives picked up the weapon and died.  As I write that line, it feels a bit crude and raw but, this is the point of contrast, the way to elevate and distinguish.  Yeah, there are times I feel that life really is challenging, that I'm let down or even let others down, but, I can't help but wonder about that 19 year old kid that lay in the sand giving his life for a cause.  This is the highest sacrifice anyone can give.  There may be some that read this and will remember their friend, their uncle, their dad, their loved one.  The question is, how can we honor those that did this?

I think a good place to start is to think about them.  Think of what kind of leadership may have perished on the battlefield.  Think of those that had the character to obey and serve, who put the uniform on and marched into harms way.  Who wants to die that is of a healthy mind?  What courage it would take to know that you must leave the safety of an iron ship to touch the sand where rounds are being fired or to attempt to execute a maneuver that will insure a victory knowing that you are part of the section that's going to take the direct assault.  To know that you are in the cross hairs of the enemy.  To wonder if it's really an honorable cause, or perhaps no doubt whatsoever, totally convinced that this is the moment to execute all the training and values that are the core of your being.  The luxury to access whether or not those that have sent these to war was for a just cause is not practical because an indecisive moment can cause the loss of limb, sight, or life to the yourself or the one fighting next to you.

For me, the second thing is to say, "thank you."  Not all that go into battle die.  Not all that train go into battle.  But from those that give the ultimate price to those that were next to them and survived, to them that were prepared to go to the field and weren't sent, each has sworn an oath to protect.  My heart is overwhelmed with a gratitude of those that show this kind of maturity and dedication, and so I say, thank you and thank you to all!

Being that this is a sports program, I want to speak of some parallels where many sports emulate elements of battle.  Please do NOT misunderstand me, for I do not want to disrespect those that gave their lives. I am now talking about a subset of genuine battle where protection, freedom are the goal and life and limb are the possible losses.  There are great emotions associated with sports.  Teams for regional locations having a line of scrimmage where movements are done with precise military discipline and training.  To strike into the line, or to try to flank the line, or an aerial assault.  Men who box having trained for weeks to stand in an enclosed space in order to exercise a battle of skills and will.  We watch, safely from the sidelines.  We are moved and scream when our associated team or individual executes something that is associated with victory.  I've been pondering for years why this is so.  Recently, I saw a special on Gatti vs. Ward, two boxers that fought 3 times.  The first fight, round 9 is called by some the greatest round of boxing for the century.  I remember watching it.  It wasn't the blood that reeled me in.  Some think that it's the potential of death that makes it intriguing.  Personally, I reject that.  When Jim Lampley, HBO Analyst was asked what the greatest fight, round of boxing he's called, he replied Gatti vs. Ward, round 9, and here's the point....  he wept as he said it.  He wept, as I did when I watched it.  I called my boys into the room when the fight was going on and said, "LOOK, these men are LIVING."  They were exercising life.  They were, in my estimation breaking through a dimension of normal life to an extraordinary experience.  This life is not limited to combat, it can be manifested in gymnastics, ballet, chess, speech contests, etc...  The point is that they were without fear, living in the moment.  I covet that experience.  I wept then, and I weep even now as I write this,  challenged to live ... to live without fear, to execute life without regrets and to give 100%. 

So, in closing, please hit the "reply", write something.  Think of those that have gone before us and paved the way for us.  Thank your kids, dads, grand-dad, cousins, brothers, sisters, moms who have served, say it to them while they can hear it.  My love and gratitude is to all of them, and presently, to my son who is serving.  Thank you.

I always wanted to be a black belt

Have you ever wished you could go back in time, basically, to reclaim that youthful body with the caveaut to go back knowing what you know now?

No, this isn't an advertisement with some product that makes any promises.  My joints hurt as I awake each and every day.  I haven't slept through the night in years due to chronic pain in my back.  I used to be able to ALMOST do a split and could punch at blinding speed.  I used to be able to perform so much better, and alas, age presses on.  I'm probably 70% of what I was when I was at my best in my youth. 

Is this the song of the aged?  "Oh, how I wish I was young .... knowing what I now know..."

I'm truly begining to wonder, if I am thinking this now, what will I think in 20 years? (assuming I'm still here).  Will I reflect of a time where I would say, I wish I were 20 years younger knowing what I know now (now at that time I will be age 76). 

And so, I live.  I live each and every day.  I go after that guitar arpegio that's eluded me forever, I still try to lift the weight that I've never been able to lift, I try to grow in my relationships and apply all the lessons learned so far.  I find the depravity is still there, the capacity for change more challenging, but, my mind is strong and my desire to be all I can be is pushing for more. 

I was haunted by a thought when I was a boy.  I always wanted to be a black belt.  A thought came to me, it was this. "If you got your black belt and there was noone else to see you with it, would you still want it?"  This thought frightened me because I realized that I was driven for others, and the perception of others.  It's what some call "motivation".  That inner burning to accomplish.  That which cannot be given to anyone else.  The motivation can be good and it can be bad.  When you see someone achieve a goal like running a marathon, does it make you think you can run a marathon?  My point is that there will be things that we are driven to do that are for ourselves, and some things for others.  The person who loses that 10 pounds or 100 pounds, or quits drugs and/or drinking, who quits running around and commits to his/her wife and family.  These are marathons of a different kind.  They are the kind that produces fruit in those around us.  I think I'm coming to understand that I got my black belt and now, I'm content to share what I've learned with any who would want to know.  I've learned a bit about playing guitar, and I'm happy to give my knowledge to anyone who would want it.  My time that is left, it is to be honored and spent wisely and diligently for I don't know how much of it is left. 

Today is the day I  will want 20 years from now.  What will I dream to do 20 years from now that I'm presently in that moment that can be fulfilled?  Perhaps the ancients and those that have passed before us seem to have a clue....  I've heard most in the gneration(s) before me say, "if I could do it all over again, I'd spend more time with my kids."  Others may say, "I would have not done this thing", or maybe even, "I wished I wouldn't have spent the last 20 years being guilty about ..."

Perhaps the key is, I may know more in 20 years, but, those that are 20 years ahead of me seem to be consistent with their drive to have worked for better relationships.  To not harbor anger. To forgive, to forget, to respect, ultimately, to love.  I wrote in my journal when I was 37 years of age that if the Lord gave me 37 more years, I did not want them to be like the first 37.  For me, let this be a renewal of that spirit I showed.  I want my last years to be my best.

My uncle Angelo

My uncle Angelo passed.  Angelo was my dad's brother, one who was about 9 years older than me and 13 years younger than my dad.  He was a fraternal twin to my uncle Leon.  In the summer of 1971, my father, brother, Angelo, Leon, grandfather, and great uncle George all took a trip to Greece.  It may have been the most memorable time of my childhood.  We went to the beach every day which created voracious appetites by which my wonderful aunt Aremenie fed us like an army returning from a campaign. 

Angelo and Leon slept in a bed next to me and my brother.  The relationship that Leon and Angelo had was hilarious to my young mind.  One day, while we were settling in to sleep, one of the two moved in such a way that his toenail scratched the other.  The argument that ensued will match any comedy routine that I've ever seen.

There was a genuine kindness to Angelo.  He had an awesome sense of humor and a zeal for life.  He was extremely passionate about many things.  All you had to do is stop by and visit him.  If you did, he showed you his garden.  A garden that even to someone like me who is not into that pulled a respect and appreciation for the time he put into it.  I asked him specifically what did he like and when did he know it and he told me about the beginnings when he was first on his own and grew some house plants.  He loved the architecture of the pot and laying them out.  I helped one day by watering them.  He gave me very specific instructions on the watering and the time to fill each container.  I am glad I had that opportunity that day to do something for him.  After he would show you his garden, if you knew how to play backgammon, he'd more than likely play you and he loved to talk smack as he played.  My dad and him would play for hours.  Before he was sick, he would probably do three more things!  One, he'd make you really think about who your voting for and why and his great passion for this country.  Secondly, he'd love to show you his office.  His labor of love to help people protect their assets and thrive towards retirement.  "Soaring", a phrase attributed to the eagle, and to those who have been in his office, they'd see plenty of eagles.  Finally, he'd FEED you.  Angelo LOVED to eat and he knew the best food anywhere.  He really enjoyed the fellowship of eating and visiting.  If you were to just hang with him, in no time, he'd offer to take you to go and eat at some place that was going to be terrific.  Dare I forget his grandkids????   Oh my God did he love his grandkids.  Of course, that started when he was a father and would brag on his kids, and he took that same excitement on to the next generation. 

On the few days I had to visit, he asked me if I wanted to go for a ride.  I replied, "sure".  I could see that food was no longer one of the passion points due to his battling of cancer.  While he showed me homes of his beloved children, and brother, he drove and there was that one last time that Angelo relaxed and kept talking to me about the Miner Dunn Double Cheese Sandwich (forgive me if I got that wrong).  He talked about the chili there and sherbet ice cream.  I kept listening as we crossed the road that led to Miner Dunn, he pointed it out to me that it was just down the street there and asked if I was hungry.  I replied, LET'S GO!!  We went in and had the sandwich, chili, and sherbet.  We had fellowship.  It would be my last meal with my uncle, but, it was the best meal I've had with him.

I was with him when he went to the emergency room.  And I was struck with the fact that he would periodically moan in pain.  I asked him if he was in pain, to which he gave the same answer as always, "No, I'm just having some discomfort."  Finally, I asked him, on a 1 - 10, where would you rank the discomfort.  He replied, "10".  I told him, Ang, that's pain.  We then got him the appropriate medication to help with that and that was a better day.  I have more memories that follow, but, I'll ponder those for yet a while.

I am amazed how much I really got to know him in a few days.  Perhaps it's the knowing that there's no time to waste.  No pretension, no jiving, just say the things that need to be said, do the things that need to be done.  I will miss this wonderful father, husband, uncle, man.  I never knew just how kind and sensitive he was, for that I'm sorry, not defeated because I hope to learn from that as I move forward.

My brother and I

This story is long over due.  It's the story of two boys born in northwest Indiana.  I'll spare the details that may be integrated into a book one day, but for now, I'll start with the fact that I'm 6 years older than my brother and I really do remember the day he came home from the hospital. 

I was put in charge of him and have attempted to be that leader in a responsible way.  I'm not proud of all that I've thought, said, or done, but, I've tried. 

I thought of him today in a special way because I saw a documentary on Paul Williams.  One of the most prolific song writers of our time and a name that many will probably not know.  Steve, (my brother), will know the name.  He's really good at that kind of thing, as well as movies, directors, actors, certain sports and so on.  What struck me as I watched the documentary was that it was so enjoyable to me.  You see, in the 70's, everything was so mysterious.  All of the standard plots you'd see on the TV shows that would show patterns of similarity and yet sometimes throw different axioms into the mix... Like Bobby Brady needing to know WHEN to quit vs. "Little Joe" on Bonanza being exhorted to NEVER quit.  These things confused me as a boy.  Like Jim Carry in the Cable guy, I watched these shows and actually thought this was the way things were supposed to be.  A kind and gentle set of parents that the Brady Bunch offered, one who would scold mildly or talk over family issues.  It was the paradise I longed for.  You'd see Gilligan's Island and I had no clue of the turmoil Sherman Schwartz had between Tina Louise and Bob Denver.  I don't remember the candid interviews you can now get that provides the behind the scenes kind of thing that thrills me personally.  Oh ya, back to my brother....   I thought as I watched this Paul Williams documentary how, for me, it was a slice of heaven.  I was getting insights to the Merv Griffin show, the Michael Douglas show, and more... I can see my brother reading this going "UGH" REALLY ??  But, this isn't a complaint about him. 

We're simply different...

He'll watch a movie that moves him, he'll tell me about it, I'll watch it.  I'll send him my commentary on it.  He'll do the same for me.  Do you know why?  Because we love each other.  Oh, this didn't come over night, I can assure you of that.  I remember when he had me to go and see, "The Full Monty".  (he's smiling now).  But, he's turned me on to many gems, Shawshank Redemption, Pope of Greenwich Village to name a few.  I think he has tremendous insights to movies.  Movies can be a poxy to bring things together.  I've witnessed two people in a family that never speak and one day just because the topic was movies, it became a substance of connection.

Apart from movies, we can talk about anything else in life with no pretension.  We have fought about everything and moved on from every disagreement.  We used to argue about Godzilla and King Kong.  I still say King Kong won the fight.  We'd argue about Orange vs. Grape Koolaid.  I liked Ron Santo, he liked Ernie Banks (both Chi Cub Players).  But regardless of all the arguing......   He knows, and I know.  We're brothers.

He challenges me...

Recently, I really believe that I've written the best and most thorough song of my life.  After playing it for him, he said, "You can do better".  To some, that may sound discouraging.  Not to me.  I know where he's coming from and it stays with me.  I believe we all need to have people in our life that really knows us, where there's total honesty, total freedom to hear and say, but, here's the key; the statement must come from love.  If you have that person, you have a treasure.  My brother is that treasure.

It's a wonderful life...

In the movie it's a wonderful life (one that I really like and well, actually, I don't know what Steve thinks of it, but, Jimmy Stewart wishes he was never born.  The angel demonstrates how different life would have been for so many people had he not been on the earth.  The idea from that movie motivates and challenges me tremendously.  It's really an impetus for this blog.  I know of a few men that lost their younger brothers, I can't tell you how much that hurts to ponder.  My brother has helped me through some of the hardest times of my life.  To be honest, my parents rarely asked me how I was or felt, but I always knew my brother did.  That's who he is.  He's really kind of shy and lacks confidence in some ways, but, I know with the greatest confidence that when love moves him, it is an amazing thing to experience.  I know of his struggles and how hard he has worked to overcome.  I can't help but reflect to the point of this paragraph... I don't want to know the vacuum that would exist without him.

Do not leave the earth without saying...

I write this because, we cannot presume tomorrow.  We have now, and now is all I have.  If I were to die with these thoughts, no one would benefit.  No one would know.  I think that that may be one of the greatest weaknesses of people in general, one of my greatest weaknesses.  I battle with a negative, pessimistic mindset.  But, there are times, actually many times where a kind word, a decent act, an act of love I'll observe and it warms my heart and I don't say anything.  This statement is reprehensible, but, it remains a truth for me... why don't I say it?  Because I perceive it as being weak.  Yes, there are times I'll look at my wife and think, my God, she looks amazing, vibrant, youthful, and it remains in the chamber of my heart.  Perhaps, she'll be next on my list.  And BTW, those that know me and have felt the sting of my tongue, it is nowhere near eloquent as the words I type.  I must take these times to unlock the chamber, and be weak, vulnerable, and reflective.  I say to you Steve, I know that you prioritize when I call.  I know you look forward to see me when I'm in town.  I know you delight in seeing me eat an Al's Italian Beef sandwich, you see, for a person to look for another person's desire is love and that is invaluable.  That pure motivation cannot be purchased and few there are that give it and I want you to know I appreciate and love you bro.

What's the final chapter?

As boys, we went to Europe together.  We ran the streets of our father's birthplace in Greece.  We got sick together on a boat crossing from Greece to an island just off of Turkey.  Some embarrassing stories that I'll spare.  But, man, it was just living.  This was before the testosterone flowed to begin my quest for stuff, and failures and misguided pursuits.  It was an innocent time where we really depended on each other.  Will we get to go back?

I'll close by saying, I NEVER dreamed as a young boy that life would be this good.  Yes, life is good.  Yes, there's suffering, there's plenty of disappointments, there's sickness, there's pain, there's even death to contend, but, as long as we're alive and we have breath, I can say I'm so thankful for my brother.

We now know

We now know

Have you ever heard the phrase "we now know?"   I can't help but think, if you now know it, why didn't you know it before, and worst, if you now know something you didn't know before, then, who's to say that what you know now will be replaced with a new statement tomorrow?

I remember watching the Chicago Cubs in 1969 and Ernie banks saying, "The cubs will shine in 69".  It was his thing to create an optimistic phrase every year.  Furthermore, I remember that steaks were the protein of choice for the athlete working out and that a good breakfast was a glass of orange juice, eggs and bacon.  WE NOW KNOW that one egg supplies your daily amount of cholesterol, not to include the bacon, butter on the toast and that second or third egg.  That orange juice will spike your insulin because it's so rich in sugar.  Man, I NOW KNOW that I  really DON'T KNOW which plan to choose?  Atkins?  30/40/30, low fat?, low carbs?   It's even gotten to the point that psychiatrists/psychologists are the authorities on television telling us the way things are because "we now know". 

I'm sorry, I don't know that all things fall or fit into this class.  For example, I think it's always been wrong, is wrong, and ever shall be wrong to do certain things, like murdering someone, committing adultery, stealing, etc...  I'm not saying that I'm not tempted and or even failed.  I'm simply saying that I'm not willing to vacate the everlasting knowledge with the temporal knowledge.  If the truth is only what I perceive it to be then we've digressed though it appears to be progress. 

Now, I know that I've jumped from an empirical point earlier, (that knowledge is ascertained by a processes of theorizing something that is, and testing it) to an argument for the moral imperative, (that certain things are always right or always wrong regardless of supposed hypothesis, data gathering and conclusions put forth).  But, I think there's a connection.  I once worked with a Duke graduate who worked for a household name pharmacy company that told me she wanted to change careers to programming because of the pressures to pass drugs through and ignore apparent anomalies or false conclusions.  The point is, when theory, hypothesis, and conclusion also include an intention for data to come to a certain conclusion, the "we now know" is grossly overrated. 

When you see a doctor, he/she has protocol and this previously accepted knowledge is their guidelines whereby decisions are made and CAN affect you adversely.  For example, should you have a mammogram every year?  Recently, that apparent absolute and resounding "YES" is being questioned because .... you guessed it, "we now know".  Well, what about all those women who have been saturated with the negative effects of the radiation having followed the supposed FORMER "we now know?"

In conclusion, I've always known the love of my parents and siblings.  I've always known that I will die one day.  I've always known that this life is futile, limited, and unless an eternal perspective is factored in, well... less than optimal.  I've always known the love of a wife, the love of my children, the moral absolutes that never change.  I've always known that most people try hard and do their best, but the best thing to say is rather than "we now know" would be "we sure hope this is right" because if it isn't, you may be affecting us adversely.  Let us hope to find the things that have an eternal rather than temporal benefit.

Wear what I wear please

So, as I promised, here's the story and my bizarre thoughts... And I readily admit, this is not normal.

I went to get my mail from the mail box, which really is just to open the door and reach over to the left since the mail box is within an arm's reach of opening the door.  My wife freaks out and screams, "some one's going to see you in your underwear."  I'm thinking, what's the big deal?  Well, I should add to the facts that we live on a very busy street and there's a high probability that a car will drive by even though it's a quick opening of the door.  So, to deny that I will be seen is not tenable.  My argument is, why is it that when EVERYONE takes their shirt off, it's OK for me to take my shirt off and NOT until then?

Continue...

You go to the beach and you wear a bikini.  How does that differ from underwear?  BTW, I'm not trying to be cute here and I understand that there's sheer type of underwear that would reveal something that wouldn't be revealed in a bikini, but, apples to apples...  a little top to insure the hidden part of the breast remains hidden and well, you finish the rest for the bottom, the point is, BOTH reveal the same portions of flesh. 

The AGREEMENT we seem to have in society is, do NOT do that unless we're all doing it!  If you put that outfit on and walk into the night club, it will probably be frowned upon.  Heck, there's even nude beaches where all agree it's OK to take everything off.  Back to me and checking the mail... So, there I am in my boxers or briefs?  Depends (inside joke), anyway, and I'm genuinely thinking, if my underwear were called a "bathing suit", I could have come from my supposed pool and was simply checking my mail... oh no, bad bad bad, because the people that are outside are in a zone where they're wearing clothes, and so, it is taboo that I would be shirtless and so on.  You know, I could really push this subject and talk about supposed differences between underwear and other clothing, but, I don't think that's really the point.  I'm honestly puzzled about why this rule exists? 

Answer.

Perhaps we seem to have an innate drive to want people to be like us.  If they're different, we look and wonder, "why is he eating his cereal with orange juice instead of milk?"  (ewww, I know wouldn't that taste terribly), but, really, this same thing that pulls people in the same direction becomes a discriminatory pulse as well.  Perhaps it's part of the basis of prejudices and other things that can be taken to the extreme.  I'll never forget the first time I was ostracized because I was dipping my cookie in milk.  For some reason, the person in grade school had never fathomed that practice and began to loudly point out my unusual behavior, or the time that I decided to urinate in the break room while lunch was going on.. oh, I know I should have put my shoes on, but, what the heck?  Seriously, I do want to be part of society, for "no man is an island" Aristotle...  I've also come to discover that although I do enjoy people with whom I share values, people with my personality are not my best match to hang out with, it almost seems like opposites are a better fit.  So, everyone break the rules today... go out and check your mail in whatever outfit you want and then ask them to read this blog.

Changes

Ch Ch changes....

I want to say that I'm pushing as hard as possible to complete my new year's goals for 2013.  Yeah, remember when that was so hot in the first week of January?  I've lost 7 of the 10 lbs, and I've produced an original and performed it.  It's an original born of one of the greatest pains in my life.  Lord willing, I'll record it and offer it on the website soon and will greatly appreciate your support in purchasing a copy of the song.  I truly say, it's not about the money, it's really about wanting to test my theory of what I call the pied piper affect.  I believe that songs become popular for various reasons.  Perhaps the message, the melody, the presentation, the fame of an artist, the fact that its shoved down your throat with big buck distribution.  But for something to last, it has to have that something special contained within it.  The formula is unknown, for if it could scientifically be produced, the Paul McCartney would still be producing hits.  When it happens, there's no doubt that its happening, much like in today's experience of viral explosions.  Some think to simply do something repulsive and that it'll explode, not necessarily the formula.  And so, I eagerly look forward to recording, as a starting point, this first one, for regardless of the critiques I may receive, the song IS mine.  It is my reflection, and it is my experience.  Will the pied piper lure you into listening?  Will he cause you to tell your family, friends, work associates?  Businesses try to produce the sharing element and there are many who specialize in exposure and attempting to leverage the implosion and capabilities that are before us.  My hope is that there's a juncture between the attempt at telling a story through my craft and that it touches hearts.  Presently, I'm not ready to tell the in depth story that underlies the song.  When I do, you'll understand, for I'm not a secretive kind of person.  Those who know me know that my heart is on my sleeve.

To continue the discussion on the subject of change, I'm constantly at the Mavs stadium and regularly meeting and speaking with the Vice President of Marketing there.  I have an opportunity to get some rock originals played there and Rick and I have been working on that product.  Just last night, we had a monster jam session and came up with a plethora of ideas.  I'd like to digress and speak about my friend Rick Stevens, a.k.a. "superflex".  When he works with me on original material, it's like he's a missing voice in my head who completes the missing ingredients as I write.  He'll either come up with the lyric, or the melody, or the tempo, or the beat, but always a missing piece to make it come alive.  I'm a fairly decent guitar player and can fairly well copy other artists.  Creating originals that may one day be copied is a special craft.  It's an area that is new and fresh.  When you continue to age in this life, new and fresh is very welcome.

Finally, the band is learning new material.  We have learned quite a few new tunes and there's more coming.  Some contemporary and presently an emphasis in some 90's rock.  More on that as the songs are carefully selected and learned at a later time.

In closing, to those who read this, PLEASE follow, and provide comments.  I think what makes me personally different as a musician in a band is that I truly try to get to know the people with whom I interact.  There are many of you who know that.  I don't know who reads unless you follow or comment, so, please do if you can.  Three quarters left to accomplish the ch ch changes.  I hope things are well with you.  I look forward to seeing or hearing from each one of you.

If we build it, will you come???

Years ago, Sabrina and Gypsybleu set a foot print in the city of Plano.  The club was called, "Bullwinkles".  We played there on a regular rotation and got to know a lot of people and thoroughly enjoyed playing there.  It just seemed like home for us.  In recent weeks, the club has been re-opened under a new name called "Local Public House Bar & Grill".  It's been re-vamped on the inside and we'll be coming back on March 9, 2013.  I'm personally looking forward to it.  I know every square inch of that place.  I'm looking forward to filling it with sound... good sound.  So, will you come?  Will you partake in a reunion gig?  Come and share in this experience with me, with us.

On to new things...uncharted waters

I've written some songs that are based on experiences in my life in recent years.  I'm beginning to work with the band to prepare them for recording and distribution to those will will come.  The songs will be built, Lord willing.  Will you come?  I've decided that many folks write songs in their youth.  They say things like, "Money can't buy me love", "Only the good die young", "I can't get no satisfaction".  I could go on and on.  But, I've been wondering.  Why aren't their more song writers that are in their 50's, 60's and so on?  I mean, when the Rolling Stones said, "I can't get no satisfaction", we understood it in a way when we were kids, but, if it came out today, and it's main audience was teenagers to young adults, would it even appear on our radar?   Is there a space/room for a voice that would say something like, I've been through several marriages and I'm tired of being lonely, but, I'm too scared to trust yet another person?  Or, I gave my kids all the love I could, and today, they despise me when I offer advice.  Or, I've given this company the best years of my life and they let me go like I'm a sac of dirt.  It's not just the generic package of a lost love, or a love gone cold, but, where are the songs that are written by the gray heads having a perspective of life in the moment with specific stories?  I'm sure they exist. 

I mention the above because, that's what I want to write about.  I want to provide original songs that tell a story.  A true story that will have had a basis in victory, or in pain, or some other collective emotion.  Many people go through life holding their personality close to the vest.  I am choosing to bring it to the stage, to share it and take whatever comes my way. 

And so, I ask you in conclusion.  When you see that we begin to distribute music..  It'll be very reasonably priced.  Like, 99 cents a song.  I'm not asking for you to purchase something you don't like.  I am asking you to listen to it.  I'll be exposing like 30 seconds of the song for your testing.  If you like it, please "vote" by purchasing it, tell a friend.  Hey, I can live with the possibility that I've produced music that may not have a mass appeal, I can live with failing, and falling. It won't hurt my feelings because I'm trying.  And without trying, I'd never know.  I want to live my life fearlessly.  For, if we fear while we live, we're already as good as dead.

So, if I build em, will you come?  Will you listen?  Please, if you've never responded to a blog of mine, please do, I'd love to hear from you!

Marino Stathakis
Co-Leader, Lead Guitarist - Sabrina & Gypsybleu

My cousin Maria

Today, I lay in bed battling the flu for the 6th day to be taken out of a short nap by receiving a call from my father bearing news that my dear cousin Maria has passed.

As I tried to gather my mental bearings, I tried to make sense of the news and asked for clarification as if I hoped I misunderstood what I was hearing only to realize that this nightmare was the worst kind in that I was awake and this news would not go away.

Maria was one of the brightest and warmest people I've ever known.  She was perhaps the most encouraging person I've known as well.  She had a way of staying connected while not imposing herself.  On Face book, always a "like" and an encouraging comment so that you knew she was reading and investing herself in your life.

For me, we had my dad's brother, Theo Christos who was bound to a wheel chair due to an unfortunate gun accident when he was a very young man.  I made it a point to visit him whenever I was home on leave from the Marine Corps and kept it up whenever I'd be in town.  She also faithfully visited him.  One time, she actually came out to California and visited us and stayed with us in our modest little condo.  We talked non stop the entire time she was there sharing a passion for business, and learning in general.  She saw I wanted to move from accounting into programming.  When she got back home, she sent me a huge box full of software, books, and all kinds of information about the field of programming.  More than the super generosity of this treasure she sent was the fact that SHE was THE treasure.  She provided me with the assurance that I could do it, I could make the career change.  Soon afterwords, I would leave California for Texas in 1994 to start my career and corporation in offering programming services.

She also had a passion for pictures and family.  She would be at family functions and she'd send out pictures from the event that had my family in them not even knowing we were being photographed.  Yep, that was Maria...  she loved the family from a point of view that you knew she was there and that she cared.  She was reserved and private and when you needed her, she would be there.

I must also say that I was the ring boy for her mom's wedding.  Her mother, Thea Georgia, knew I liked spaghetti and would faithfully cook it for me every time we'd visit her.  She was my favorite..  And then still, there was Thea Aremani (not sure of the spelling) her mom's sister, my aunt in Greece who worked morning, noon, and night to be the most amazing host.  I'll never forget when she grabbed the translation book I had to ask me if I would forget her when I would go back to the states... NEVER, NEVER, NEVER.  And, the brothers of her mom, Theo Tosh, Theo Pete.  Theo Tosh, one of the most generous men on the planet.  A very successful business man whose success was only bypassed by the help he provided to his workers and the community and Theo Pete, a quiet man, but determined and a hard worker that Theo Tosh could depend on for decades. 

What will our generation be remembered for?  Maria has started it.  Let us take the challenge to pick up where she led and care for each other and be kind and support each other as she did.  Much of what I am and have today was started with that box of goods she sent and more importantly, her encouragement and unwavering faith that she shared with me. 

I love you Maria, my dear cousin, and I wish I knew for I would have visited you when I was up there this Christmas.

New Year, change is in order

The change of year, a hope for new and better things and times.

I'm going to be all over the map here, so, bear with me:

Economics:

I must be frank, I'm rather tired of hearing about the economy and the fiscal cliff and what seems to be an unprecedented time in my life.  The call this, "the great recession".  I must agree.  Although, there is a technical definition for recession as being 2 consecutive quarters without growth in the GNP, the inability for workers to thrive is as I've never seen before.  I mean, I was around when America was THE place for manufacturing.  I even got my degree in Accounting and I distinctly remember thinking that I would probably never utilize my cost accounting skills and knowledge because of America moving to a service industry model.  I am a baby boomer.  It is rather bleak and unfortunate that as this generation approaches retirement, we're in the most technical age mankind has known, so, moving and re engineering is probably NOT a strong suit for an aging population who mostly has no pension and a terrible stock market experience.  Fact is, when you're a child and you cry for food, people are moved with empathy.  You MIGHT receive sympathy if you're gray haired and struggling to make ends meet.  I believe that the family must come together if we're going to thrive over the next 20 years.  Kids and parents may find an advantage to living together.  Shared resources help both sides and normally, the child outlives the parents and can continue with the assets shared without losing a step.  Perhaps the key is to view each other as "roommates".  So, when you're having YOUR friends over and it's 9:00 in the evening, ask them to be quiet because your roommates are sleeping.  The government is obviously not the answer.  If you think about it, they want to REDUCE social security and medicare, and they want to RAISE taxes.  So, spend less and increase revenues.  This would be a good household budget basic, reduce your spending and increase your revenue.  Historically, what we see is, they're very faithful at collecting the revenue, but, not so good at reducing the spending.  Alas, the saying, "death and taxes are inevitable", and so both will prevail.

Goals for 2013:

It's nice to have that fresh start feeling that a new year brings on.  Even if it only lasts for 20 days.  See, it takes 21 days to form a new habit and we probably fall short by one day.  But, for those 20 days, hope reigns.  This is a good thing.  Do you have a goal for 2013?  Share it, and ask someone to ask you about it 21 days later to see how you're doing.  I offer a couple of suggestions to the more probable goals:

1. Weight Loss - Take your time.  You didn't put it on in one day, one week, one month, and you'll not take it off in that short time either.  Normally, if weight appears to come off very quickly, it's more than likely water weight loss ... which comes back on just as fast as it came off.  There are plenty of sites on the web that will provide insights on how to get to your weight goal.  My personal conviction is this one point.  Whatever you do, get stronger.  Get weight training going if possible.  Ya, muscle weighs more than fat, but I'd rather weigh my weight and have reduced fat body percentage and have a solid muscle mass.  Also, try to find some regiment that helps you with balance.  As we age, we lose muscle mass and our balance is not as good as it once was.  Finally, my eating tip is to think in small reductions.  If you normally have a plate of food, then, reduce the plate to 90% of the food that was formerly piled on.  If you don't feel like you're cheating yourself, you're more likely to maintain your change.  Remember, Learning equals changed behavior.  (thanks Bruce Bullock for that insight)
2. Be a better person - To my Christian friends I say, spend time with him.  For, the love we receive from him we are responsible to share it with others.  To more of a cognetive approach, journalize your actions and find the root causes for behaviors that you don't like about yourself.  More than likely, you'll find that there may be a misunderstanding that you formed at an earlier time in life that if you approach it as an adult, you'll find a victory.
3. Do what you've always wanted to do - What are you waiting for???  There are no guarantees of a tomorrow.  All you have is now.  If you've always wanted to play guitar, piano, learn a language, etc...  do it.  Don't put it off.  I've found most everything I desire to do is available many times for free on the web.  And, if you're reading this blog, you're on the web :)

Sabrina & Gypsybleu:

We've undergone a change.  Robert Hansen has left the group for other pursuits and to continue to strenghten his family and work towards a continued effort of success in his new roles as a father and husband.  We miss him, and we do want God's very best for him. 

The band in 2013 is moving towards returning to its roots of working hard to learn new material, and even originals.  We enjoy the personal that remain.  Sabrina and I continue to have a great stage presence and I am so blessed to be with her on the stage.  Fernando has moved to front stage to provide a great passion playing experience that if you haven't seen it, you must come and see.  On bass, Silverio Garza plays most of our gigs and will move to the lead bass slot for the band.  Finally, one of the original pillars that remain is Greg Alexander, our faithful drummer.  We have opportunities due to growing relationships with radio station contacts and new clubs on the horizon.  We are tremendously grateful for our friends, fans, and people who enjoy us.  I can assure you of this one truth, without you, I'd be done playing.  Thanks for an awesome year.

My family:

Tomorrow, I leave for San Diego to see my son who will be graduating from Marine Corp boot camp on Friday.  My wife, daughter, and other son will be flying out together along with my in-laws.  This will be a very special time.  Having done my time in the Marine Corp, I totally understand the dynamic of being away from home and the joy of the reunion.  I am so excited that we will all experience this as a family.  It's so contagious that my brother Steve has flown in from Chicago to share this with us here in Texas.

Conclusion:

It's a good thing to feel hope and a new day.  One of my favorite biblical passages is from the prophet Jeremiah.  After having warned about the impending doom and judgment, although "right" in his warnings, he ends up in a dungeon.  You can read the story in the book of Lamentations in the old testament.  The verses that are so wonderful: 

Lamentations 3:19 - 23

Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall.
 My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.
 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
 It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

Marino is in the Marine Corps

Marino has joined the Marine Corps again.


Little did I know when I last served in 1986 that "a" Marino Stathakis would again be enlisted into the United States Marine Corps.  Yes, it's true, Marino Stathakis is now in the Marine Corps. 

The riddle is in the fact that my youngest son named Marino is the one that has joined the Marines.  It has been his lifelong passion to do so.  I resisted and resisted, warning him about my time and the negative things that happen when you subject yourself to the military.  Please understand, the military is a fine organization, and I'm simply referring to MY personality quirk of not liking being told what to do, when to do it, where to do it, and what to where as I'm doing it.  I was young and rebellious and didn't do well with orders.  All that being said, the Marine Corps taught me many things.  Here are a few:

1. I loved my parents after all...  I really didn't get along to well with my mom when I was a kid.  A mixture of reasons of which I assure you, I was mostly the one at fault with my arrogant mouth, attitude, and refusal to take reasonable instruction and orders.  A few days of being awakened by the drill instructors immediately showed me the kindness contrast that was at home.
2. I missed my family and friends.  I didn't realize how the everyday life and relationships that were established could just dissipate. Facebook wasn't around then, so, people just went on with their lives and distance plus time typically equals separation.
3. You must be at a function or place at a certain time in the proper uniform to execute the tasks required.  I served twice in the Marine Corps.  The first time, I played in the drum and bugle corps, so, the timeliness and appearance were very high in priority because as the saying goes, "time waits for no man...", so it is, generals who want the star spangled banner played on the downbeat wait for no man.  The second time I was in, I was an electrician on the F4 jet.  There, LIVES were at stake.  You needed to properly troubleshoot, fix, and have an inspection to insure compliance with a standard of holding a pilot's life in your hand. 
4. There will be times where you must shut your mouth and simply do what you're told.  Man, that was so hard to learn.  Anyone who knows me knows that I have a BIG mouth.  But, I did learn this skill.  Let me also say that one of the things that makes this work is that you trust the one telling you what to do.
5. I can do anything (within reason).  This was expounded further when I became a Christian.  "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me".  I do live with a passion that if I need to, I can go outside right now and run 3 miles.  I can still do 20 pull ups and haven't counted my sit ups lately, but after 3 years of doing P90X, I can probably meet the requirements for sit ups.  The confidence in an attitude to get the job done has done me well in life and I believe helped me to become a more successful employee, and business owner.

In conclusion, my son is, as of today, 10/11/2012 in boot camp... perhaps his first or second day.  Don't know yet.  But, it is ironic that I went in 1 day before him back in 1976.  He will miss (in order), his brother Pete's birthday, his uncle Steve's birthday, his cousin Steve's birthday, his Aunt Julie's birthday, his cousin Lanie's birthday, Thanksgiving, His own birthday, Christmas, New Years, his mother's birthday.  He will ponder the decisions of his life, including this one.  He will mature and the test of his passions will be before him.  He worked VERY hard to win my respect and has already achieved it.  He is a wonderful son whom I hope achieves the title Marine. 

Friendship

When you see us on stage, it can be like a symphony.  All these moving parts that each individual doing his/her part can be a wonderful sound by itself; however, the sum of all the individuals is greater than its parts.

The music actually heals us and binds us together.  When we experience a "good" gig, I look at each person with such admiration and thankfulness.  I feel alive and well.  All my sore joints and aging body feel invigorated and youthful.  It's truly better than hydrocodone.

There's a weird balance that takes place with musicians on a stage.  You have to have enough ego to be in front of people and enough humility to not consume it to a level of foolishness.  We must look at each other and share the experience rather than consume if individually.  It is much like the athlete after scoring many points credits his team's defence and/or other players and coaching.  As you listen, you might wonder, does he really mean that?

I will tell you for our band, I can say that it is so.  Here's my observation of my fellow participants in this thing we call a band.

Silverio, he plays bass.  He plays it very well.  There's so much more to him than this bass he plays.  He is the consummate professional.  I covet the consistency of which he shows up in a  timely manner having practiced and ready for any song requested.  The flexibility he demonstrates for all the bizarre things that can be requested and even though he has enough experience to DEMAND a change, he humbly nods his head at an inferior request.  Oh and yes, let me say it again, he can play the bass with a flexibility to go from "I fall to pieces" with a simple, efficient, and accurate country bass line, to funkin it up with dance music providing a groove that pulls them out of their seats.

Tony, our other bass player with whom he shares the rotation with Silverio is a dynamic bass player.  Tony is theory in motion.  As he plays, he'll close his eyes in order to provide a groove.  You can see his heart on his fingers as he plays.  His passion is jazz.  When Tony plays, it is a treat to hear the variations and alternate options that he provides.  Oh, and as a person, he is a doting father having recently been blessed with his daughter thereby completing the full set of two, one boy and one girl.  He has a sense of humor that lightens the tension that ... I  can cause.  He is a refreshing human being.

Greg, our drummer is an interesting drummer.  He plays them drums with hands riddled with pain.  If you're ever at a gig, take a look at his left hand, it's perpetually swollen.  He is probably most suited to "feel" country music and yet loves to play dance music.  With the age bracket he's in, he really is a classic rock qualified to play any piece.  He is one of the most reasonable people I've known and is a great confidant to have in considering gigs and issues that arise.  He's always calm, and a great father, husband, and person.

Fernando, our keyboard player is much like Silverio.  If a gig starts at 9:00 pm, Fernando will have his gear on the stage ready to go at 6:00 pm.  If you watch him play, it is a sight to see.  Up from his soul rises a sound and it must emanate and release.  He chose to have 10 fingers from which this energy to be distributed.  But, it doesn't stop there.  His heart burns so much to communicate the sound that if you watch his face, it's like a map of his heart.  He may feel a song in a way where he handles the keys like handling a newborn baby, soft and reflective and then another time, he rips through the keys like a rushing river, and the beauty is he knows exactly when to do each one!  He has a sense of humor that also helps to alleviate the tension that ... I can cause.  Fernando is a person that I think the more you know of him, the more you appreciate.

Robert, our guitar player... well, where do I begin.  I guess with the word anchor.  The purpose of an anchor is to keep things steady where there's a lot of uncertainty and movement.  This is Robert.  As a guitar player, I've never known anyone as knowledgeable of the guitar equipment, amplifiers, and sound systems.  Oh, and did I mention tone?  He is a master of guitar tone.  There isn't a single gig that goes by that I don't curse him.  I curse him because I, although I've gotten much better through his instruction, still don't get the tone he does.  Of course, I'm only serious...   This guy shows up to the gigs (with Greg), faithfully 2 hours before downbeat to drag in about a ton of equipment.  Sets it up and bears sole responsibility that it works, and maintains it through the night.  What would we do without Robert???

Sabrina, the muse.  Last night, I watched the rafters loose material when she was holding a note.  And, btw, she is spot on for pitch.  I have seen other "singers" or "vocalists" attempt to sing songs and although I can't personally sing well, I do have an ear and I can tell you, she sings in tune on some of the hardest stuff that there is to do.  It actually comes easy to her.  Her spirit is one of giving.  Sabrina reminds me of a friend I lost to cancer  in 1996.  This person, named Cory made you feel like you're #1.  At her funeral, there were hundreds of people and each walked as if THEY were her closest friend.  I think Sabrina has that quality where when she's with you, she makes you feel special, and it's because she's genuine, it is not an act or trite. 

Let me take a moment to mention our deepest friends, our significant others. They're importance provides the foundation and environment from which we thrive.  We have Norma, Stella, Carrie, Diana, Mikey, Amy, and Alicia.  These have taken on a role to do everything from bringing missing equipment, to offering a hot cup of tea to sooth an ailing throat.  A smile when the venue is empty or a hand clap when it didn't go well.  A conversation when silence is uncomfortable, and really the basic human need, companionship.  These friends of ours are the fiber of our existence.

Some in this band, I've known for 5 years, some I've known much longer.  It is actually becoming like a family.  See, I think God designed family in a way where you get some personalities from siblings, cousins, parents that don't exactly "fit" with your liking; however, you're STUCK with them.  There are times that as each plays his/her role within their personality that it fits wonderfully, each perfectly trusting, balancing, giving and receiving from one another than makes a unit whole.  But, there are times when it can be dark.... for some very dark.  Yes, we all have strengths and weaknesses.  What will you do with your frustrations with the other?  You can focus on the thing that is different and not appealing OR you can choose to love.  For me and mine, I, as much as possible will choose to love my friends, these people with whom I share the glorious gift of music.  May we grow to the fullest potential of who we are.

There are many in the metroplex questioning Mark Cuban now.  It reminds me of when I coached sports.  The difference between the head coach and all others is that you must live with your decisions as the head coach.  Whatever you decide, it's on you.  Pull the pitcher out too soon, leave him in too long, selecting your starting rotation, your reserves, minutes to be played, on-side kick, field go vs. going for it on 4th down.  (please be aware, I'm mixing concepts from various sports besides basketball and my analogy of the head coach will be applied to Mr. Cuban and I'm aware he's not the head coach).   Personally, I rarely question a head coach.  I think that may be based on having served 6 years of active duty in the Marine Corps and understanding the concept of team.  That there are leaders and these leaders will make requests that you may or may not agree with, but nevertheless, the orders must be executed to the best of your ability.  I mean, really, isn't that what YOU would want if YOU were leading?  How could you have knowledge of success or failure if those that are following don't buy in?

It would appear that the eggs were being laid to attempt to go after Dwight Howard and now, he has an injury.  Who could have known, after all, he is known as Superman.. isn't he?  It looks like the cryptonite of the ever present lower back problem has struck Mr. Howard.

"Be thankful in all things"  Maybe we should be thankful that our city experienced its first basketball championship EVER.  I lived in LA when they had the likes of Jabar, Johnson, Worthy, and more. Showtime they called it, and the poor Dallas Mavericks were so competative, but not enough.  Then, Miami appears on the map of basketball dynasty potential.  How many championships?  That was the question, it wasn't whether they would win, it was how many.  The only thing to stop them from this rule and reighn was a team from Dallas.  No one gave them a chance.  The last time Dallas was in the championship, it was against this very same team, but a team that did not include the NBA's brand boy, "King James".  Surely, the same Dwayne Wade PLUS Chris Bosh PLUS King James would put this joke and inferior team away... wouldn't they?

Personally, I will NEVER forget that championship.  There are many others I've forgotten, but, not this one.  This one was special.  To the Dallas mavs that made it happen, throughout the entire organization, I thank you.  I thank you for not only winning, but winning with class. 

Whatever happens from this point forward is gravy.  Now, I am human, and at some point, I'll get hungry again; but for now, I still have some meat between my teeth.

Mavs in the playoff... what say ye?

The Mavs are in their 12th consecutive playoff berth.  I've been in Dallas since 1994.  Soon after that, I would do work for Guy Medrow who was a season ticket holder and would be blessed by receiving several game offers in trade for web work.  It was when good ol' Stevie Nash was here and the Mavs were finding themselves.  A fresh and young Dirk Nowitzki with all the promise of being one of the great NBA players growing in stature and maturity.

Now, I attend the games, and I sit in the press box.  I've tried different techniques while watching the game.  I'm trying to find myself.  Do I focus on statistics?  As I watch the game, I sometimes track various unreported statistics.  You know, you can see that a team gets a count of rebounds, makes a percentage of shots, where the shots are that are being made and all of that is an attempt to provide the pieces of a synthetic statement of what has happened.  The theory goes on to say that IF things continue as they are and have had similar patterns in the past, then, the present is predictable.  For example, let's say that the Mavs are up by 10 points at the conclusion of the half.  Furthermore, let's say that statistically, when the Mavs lead by 10 points at the half, 79% of the time, they hold the lead and go on to win the game.  When you observe that kind of a statistic, you begin to assume that the game is mostly in hand.  Then, the other team comes out of the locker room and they go on a 7-0 run, thereby cutting the lead to three.   You find a statistic that says, "when a team opens the third quarter and goes on a 7 - 0 run...."  Get my drift?

I watch the game and the patterns and statistics are present; but, not always primary.  Here's kind of how I observe and collect my observations checked by the data.  It feels/seems like Dirk isn't shooting the ball as well as he did in previous years.  Is it just a feeling?  When I research, I notice that percentage comparison wise, Dirk shot .517 last season and .456 this season.  His percentage is for this year is "absolutely" lower than the previous season.  But is that enough to form a conclusion?  What if in 2010, more of his shots where within 17 feet of the basket on the average.  For many players, the closer you get to the basket, the greater the chance is that you'll put the rock in the hole.  (Note: Jason Kidd may be an exception to this).  

The measurements are typically offered in three positions: 

1. Points in the paint,
2. Points NOT in the paint that are WITHIN the three point arc,
3. finally, Three pointer. 

There is a bit of a distance from the paint to the three point line.  What if defense analysts have taken a position to their teams to say, keep him (Dirk)  in front of you, and instead of trying to block his shot, focus on body position and not allowing penetration.  Or, what if Dirk has figured out that the season is where you work on your playoff preparation and you don't want to necessarily give too much during the season so that the body will be there for you in order to respond when the call to duty arises.  What if, now, as an NBA champion, there's no more worries about the monkey on the back saying that greatness is not being one of the top scorers of NBA history, but, to have won a championship, one against the Miami Heat in their signature year of integrating "the three".

And so, here's where I must make the move to either speak and write as a fan who has the privilege of spending time with the team in the locker room and stand in awe of this opportunity, or look at this as a sports journalist and watch to see if I've got this right.  Is it hope that I would project that the Mavs can do well in the playoffs based on a theory of Dirk having acquired an understanding from history or is it the boy in me looking for a hero? 

The "x" factor in this is that this is a new team with no history in the playoff.  There are players on the team that have won it all, and others who've never been there.  A team is the collection of players that move in a cohesive direction led by the same man Rick Carlisle.  When you watch this season as it's come to a close, I have noticed that the rotations are still in flux.  I sense, that's part of the greatness of Rick Carlisle.  He has a stubbornness enough to support Odum for the team's sake and the strength to cut him for that same team's sake.  He appears to have the perfect balance of having the player's back and moving on from the player for the benefit of the team.  Point:  He'll be ready to make the necessary adjustments.  Vince Carter is rising.  He seems like a nice kid.  Speaking of "kid", Jason Kidd as the quarterback continues to be challenged due to his age.  Heck, speaking of age, the team as a whole is "old" in NBA terms.  What will this mean in the playoffs?  What is the best case scenario for experience to take its advantage?

Conclusion:  It comes down to belief.  Belief requires an object, it's not an intransitive concept.  Whatever this belief is for this team, it will be challenged at every possession.  The belief must withstand the scrutiny and pressure that comes with doubt.  The coaches will do their duty and prepare, but, the heart of the individual will have his own demons to wrestle.  Is Dirk still hungry?  If he doesn't succeed, he's achieved the goal last season.  Is Jet's determination enough to spread to the rookies and younger players?  What are the unspoken things?  Are there more doubts than belief?  Since this is the first playoff for this team, in my opinion, the first game regardless of where played will provide the answer.  If they win the first game, they will win the series, if they lose, the same will follow.  The first game, they will lay it on the line and give it their best.  If their best is good enough, they'll have established  their belief for that series.  If they lose, the doubt will win.  Ah, but what about will?  Who/What is the will of this team?  Last year, there was Berrea and Chandler to support Jet and Dirk.  This year, Delonte West appears to bring that refuse to lose mentality.  Where is the Chandler replacement?  If Brandon,Mahinmi, or Haywood don't bring that iron will, the Mavs will fail.  So, that is my analysis of the Mavs heading into the playoffs.  It will be a question of Belief and Will.  The answer will be provided in game #1.